No More Missus Nice Guy

It seems appropriate somehow on the morning after the Oscar night before to re-start my blogging with a quote from Sally Field - " you like me, right now, you like me." Except, that's not true anymore. And I'm cool with that. I have wasted so much time trying to be funny and likeable, a go-to girl, a loyal friend, a sympathetic ear, one of the good guys - and it stops here. At the ripe old age of 45 I'm taking a stand and deciding quite emphatically that from now on, I'm going to be the bad guy, the grouch, the curmudgeon. I'm going to stop trying to be pleasant and instead I'm going to please my damn self. What's brought this on, you may ask? In the spirit of my newly-won mean-spiritedness, I should probably tell you to take a long walk off of a short pier. It's just that I'm sick of wasting my time on trying to be one of the cool kids, the popular people, the clique. I'm sick of being the joker in the pack who at the same time offers her sodden shoulder for you to cry your tears on. I've been screwed over too many times, let down when I've been in need and looked for help from those I've helped in the past. I admit I'm not the best at communicating my needs - genetically part hedgehog, in times of strife I roll up into a spikey ball which does make it difficult to approach me. There are very few people who are brave enough to fight past these thorns. So today, I'm not Jennifer Lawrence or Anne Hathaway. As nice as it would be, I don't need Hugh Jackman to rush to my aid. I have my pride - and that's fine by me.