I’ve had a few folks ask me about my current obsession and I can’t give you an answer except that maybe it’s my hormones or some kind of primeval need (that’s a polite way of saying I’m thinking with my fanny!).
I mean, he’s everything I should despise – Eton-educated, posh voiced (I imagine he likes a wee sherry and a “point” at the pub on a Sunday) and he played Fred West for fuck’s sake (which I found particularly hard to watch. “Don’t fancy this. Don’t fancy this” I kept having to repeat to myself. To be fair I did find his portrayal repellant).
So is it not him but the Jameson’s swigging, curly haired, Baltimore accented fuck-up of a man-whore that is his portrayal of Jimmy McNulty in “The Wire” that has me weak at the knees and crossing my legs? Yes. And no. OK, yes, but that’s not all.
I watched him as General Titus Flavius Virilus (tight, flavoursome and virile definitely) in the movie “Centurion” with a beard and in a Roman legionary uniform (then without one, having the shit knocked out of him and then killed, which I found strangely sexy).
I watched him as Hector Madden in the BBC drama set in the 1950s “The Hour” where he played a Brylcreemed cad who went shooting – when he offered to “pluck” a pheasant for the female lead I let out a bit of sex wee. And I got to see his lovely bare arse too!
I watched him as the baddie Theron in “300” where he manipulates, takes roughly (from behind) and betrays Queen Gorgo who stabs him in the guts for this treachery with a deep wish that I could have swapped places with her (except for the stabby bit).
I watched him in the awful film “The Forgotten” which I wish I had as he kept his clothes on, did nothing much (including lying on a bed next to Julianne Moore and going to sleep – c’mon, even I would!) and was a bit dim.
I watched him as Oliver Cromwell in the Channel 4 English Civil War drama “The Devil’s Whore” where he had bad teeth, warts and a silly hat (OK, maybe I didn’t fancy him in that one so much).
I didn’t watch him as a Yorkshire-accented Iago in “Othello” at the Crucible in Sheffield this very minute because bloody east Coast Trains are a shower of thieving robbing bastards and it would have cost me 4 times the price of the most expensive ticket to get there and see him. But I did make my family “shush” so that I could listen to him on Radio 4’s “Front Row” and have drooled for the past week over pictures of him in his leather codpiece!
I have thought long and hard as to why this working class middle-aged Scottish woman has relegated the hard-drinking, long haired, country singing, “I do all my own stunts”, part Native American, blue eyed sex god that is Christian Kane into second place to this short-haired, la-di-dah former private schoolboy?
And do you know what it is?
It’s because I’m a fucking class traitor, that’s why! x
No comments:
Post a Comment