I’m Hearing Voices Day 2 - Dialogue Introduction

(Much shuffling, squirming and mutterings under breath)

Finn: Sit up straight.
Eddy: I AM sitting up straight.
Finn: Shall I begin?
Eddy: It sounds like you already have (under breath) bossy heifer.
Finn: I heard that! Anyway, sorry dear people. This malcontent to my left is Eddy Annis, also known around these parts as Howie the Trowie…
Eddy (loudly): I have told you before, woman, Trowie is what I AM. That’s akin to me introducing you as Worse the Nurse.
Finn (glares): As I was saying, Eddy here is a hermit who mostly keeps himself to himself…
Eddy : Away from interfering busybodies like you.
Finn (ignoring him): But he has excellent local knowledge and is very useful when he likes. Which isn’t very often.
Eddy: This baggage is Finn the local midwife. Or maybe…a FINWIFE!
Finn gasps then slugs Eddy, knocking him off of his seat.
Eddy: Ouch.
Finn: You deserved that, fairyboy. I delivered Kit’s baby.
Eddy: And look how THAT turned out! But that’s the NHS for you.
Finn: Well, we have to try to make it right.
Eddy: We won’t do that talking to these mundanes. I’m off.
Finn: He’s right. Sorry. Cheerio, my dears

I see Finn and Eddy as being slightly comic like C3PO and R2D2, fitting in with pitch of this screenplay as “STAR WARS…with flippers”! They started out as quite distinct and separate characters, merely fulfilling their roles – Finn as a local wise woman who nurses our protagonist Kit (who you will meet on Friday, I promise) through her pregnancy and childbirth and Eddy as a man with local knowledge who helps Kit with her search – and then moving on but they seem to have, albeit grudgingly, latched onto each other and become more involved in the story, sticking close to Kit and Ben. And if I can have Benedict Cumberbatch as Ben, I’ll aim high and have them played by the wonderful Ruth Jones and Peter Dinklage.