Today - Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words. Here goes –
(Kit Huntly is a marine biologist doing research into the decline in seal populations due to climate change and melting ice floes. She had a brief fling with Ben Townsend, a research volunteer and had a child by him, which he returned for and abducted. With the help of her midwife Finn and local hermit and mythology expert Eddy, she has ascertained that Ben may be a Selkie and has gone to the high tide to cry seven tears into the waves in the vain hope of calling him back and confronting him. In my fantasy cast, I'd have the lovely Emilia Clarke from "Game Of Thrones" as my Kit.)
Kit: Seven tears? Seven tears, you bastard – I’ve cried at least seven thousand since you stole my baby away. Finn and Eddy, they say this should bring you back. Just so you know, you heartless creep, I don’t want YOU back, just my wee baby. It’s like history repeating itself. I told you how my mum fell in love with a fisherman, how he was lost to her, what that did to her. And to me. How she gave me this fear of the sea, how standing here with the waves lapping round my knees and feeling an undertow makes me want to run screaming back to shore. But I have to stand firm here, I have to BELIEVE. Believe that some part of you loved me, that you at least have the decency and honour to come to me and explain to me why. Why you took my child and what it will take for you to bring her back to me. Shit (rubs eyes) why won’t the tears come? Will you come? For goodness sake, I’m a bloody scientist, the only marine biologist with a fear of the sea. But I’m drawn to it, like I was drawn to you. And now, I’m freezing my arse off on the say-so of a woman who thinks she’s a fish and a man who claims to have fairy blood. Please, Ben, if that is your name, please bring her back. Please.
Oh goodness, I could really feel the pain here. Not only is it emotional, it gives a really good glimpse inside your characters - I liked it a lot!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kyra - I'm glad that it worked. Sorry for the spelling mistakes - I'm half-asleep but they're fixed now xxx
ReplyDeleteWith what this guy has put her through, I'd be upset, too. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI feel for her. Her pain really comes through.
ReplyDeleteInteresting plot going on here!
ReplyDeleteDesperation, hope, longing. I felt it all! Nicely done :)
ReplyDeleteOoh! I loved this! I think I'm putting you on my top picks for the day :) We'll see if me and Angie will fight over it, lol.
ReplyDeleteI like the interplay between Science and Fantasy, here. I like the use of a selkie... they aren't in stories that often.
ReplyDeleteSuch pain. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteEmotionally gripping, nice job!
ReplyDeleteA lot of gut-wrenching pain - excellent work :) I'm a new follower, look forward to your future posts ;)
ReplyDeleteI loved this. You nailed it. I sure felt emotion, the pain was real.
ReplyDeleteWow - thanks for all of the comments. They are very much appreciated and have spurred me on to keep going with this projectm whetehr as a film script or a book. Keep in touch and best wishes on your projects - and keep writing! xxx
ReplyDeleteLife throws us into ridiculous situations and that's the beauty of this little piece. As silly as her situation is, at the core she's lost her baby. Laughter through tears, I guess. I love "the only marine biologist with a fear of the sea."
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you. Good luck with A-Z. I look forward to your posts.
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