They Shoot Horsies, Don't They?

Yes, we did go to see “War Horse” – the Good Doctor Kermode gave it a good review so we went on Sunday afternoon. Despite my misgivings about what I think remain extortionate prices to see a film nowadays, I do enjoy a trip to the cinema. Not even the largest TV monitor can compare to the thrill of actually seeing a film as it was meant to be seen, on the big screen. Surprisingly the Forge Fleapit was comfortably warm although I was perturbed to find that to buy a ticket you have to queue at the refreshments concession, which must be a bugger if you want to see a film that starts soon and find yourself behind a family that all want popcorn, hot dogs, nachos and drinks. I’m always surprised at how much food people take into cinemas with them – sure, when I was young having a hot dog with tomato sauce was a treat specific to the cinema along with a cup of Kia Ora – but now it’s like a picnic. I worked in a cinema in the late 1980s – the old Odeon on Renfield Street in Glasgow – and it was mayhem trying to deal with orders for hot dogs, fizzy drinks and sweets, never mind selling tickets as well. I also remember going to see “Schindler’s List” and noticing a guy sit down behind us with a tray packed with food. Anyone who has seen the film will attest to the fact that it's not one which goes down well with food and as you can probably imagine, the repast went largely untouched. Anyway, I don’t want to give away any spoilers except to say that “War Horse” is a fantastic film and you should go and see it. Unless you are a man, that is.
Now, why do I say that? Well when we came out, Vee and I were dabbing at our eyes with tissues and sniffing back tears (Vee also had to run like fury to the toilet – be warned, the film is over 2 and a half hours long!) while Gee and Tony, although having enjoyed the film, were dry eyed and unmoved. I was curious as to why this was and later asked Gee who admitted to being rather wary of horses and not being as fond of them as he is dogs and cats. Vee I know is very fond of all kinds of animals and can often be found cooing over the unlikeliest baby animals on various Internet websites. But why should I, a big rough and tough woman in her mid-40s who has no time for rom-coms or chick-lit be reduced to a sobbing wreck by a film that features horsies? I mean, I never went through the “ I love ponies” stage – my best friend when I was 11 to 13, Nicola, went through that stage and one Saturday morning dragged me to our local stables where she mucked out in exchange for lessons and not only was I unmoved by the beasts, I had a coughing and sneezing fit due to the hay and dust and had to go home, never returning. Mind you, she also fancied Lewis Collins, so it was never going to work out.
However, I have given it a bit of thought and I think I know why. And the answer unsurprisingly is 1970s television.
I do believe that my generation, born in the late 60s and early 70s had a very particular and unique televisual experience. No other section of the population before or since was ever exposed to such a load of diverse and unusual toss. From the downright trippy (The Banana Splits, HR Pufnstuf, the Monkees) to the banal (The Good Old Days, Terry and June) we had it all. And among that – loads and loads of HORSIES. Black Beauty. Follyfoot. White Horses. Champion the Wonder Horse. Flambards. The Horse Of The Year Show. International Showjumping. That bloody advert about the old geezer falling asleep and burning to death from a dropped cigarette while dreaming of his “good day wit Shire ‘orses". Siegfried Bloody Farnon who specialised in them on “All Creature Fart and Smell” (as it was known in our house). When I was growing up you couldn’t move for them! They are ingrained in the psyche. Of course, boys were immune to this and saw horses as things cowboys from “The High Chapparal” sat on or shot at people from behind.
So there you go – the reason I started blubbering from when poor Joey was taken away from Albert to be Captain Nicholl’s cavalry horse didn’t stop until the credits rolled is down to TV. As usual. Things like this – enjoy and peace out xxx